wallflower me stood watching television, but only because i didn't know what else i was supposed to be doing. if i didn't figure out soon what what else i was supposed to be doing soon i knew i would regret it, and what's more i would be ridiculed at work; but only because i told them i was going on an adventure. what were likely the regulars kept peaking over at me wondering what it was i was supposed to be doing, while i wondered why it was they felt the need to wonder about me.
but in truth i know the why because i am a barman and barmen know these sorts of things, or so i've been told at some point or time.
the barmaids might have been wondering, although they didn't show it as they had more going on than would allow them to watch a wallflower. 'this is silly' said i, which got no response as i had learned that limiting the amount of small talk i made with myself made me look exponentially less insane.
the beer garden was full of picnic tables which were full of people who were full of conversation. none of that conversation sounded like the conversation i thought i might here. so there i was, a wallflower with an emptying pint and a regular group of wonderers noting my movements.
'this is still silly' said i again. i know, i know.
"you'll right der?" asked the barmaid as i approached the bar and she was pouring a pint.
"actually, no. is there a group meeting here tonight? couch surfers perhaps. or maybe you don't know or don't know what i am talking about" said i in a breath that had run out around tonight. 'you look silly.' i know.
liz finished the pint and answered all my questions, including the one about having heard me or not which i hadn't even asked, with a guesture to follow her out to the beer garden to all the tables full of people full of conversation that i was looking for.
"i think i'll have another one please liz"
"sure ting"
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