how rude

cross cultural conversations can create certain ... circumstantial chaos.

take the term toilets.

(enuf with the alliterations)

at home we say " i have to go to the bathroom/washroom/restroom/pee/poop etc...". with exception to the last two in that list, these are all acceptable ways to communicate to someone what your intentions are without actually telling them what your intentions are. going to that particular room communicates the need to address an issue that can be solved with the amenities that exist with in a room of that name. here people say they have to " go to the toilet". i have had considerable difficulty explaining why this would be rude to say at home. a person simply does not draw attention to the particular bit of the room they intend to use because it is communicated through a mutual understanding and the knowledge that the person you are telling has experienced what you are experiencing at that moment.

i still have trouble saying toilet. i think this has to do with the way i was raised.

as kids, by that i mean when there were four of us ages six and under, we would not say "bathroom" and mom couldn't, for the life of her, get us to say the proper word. in an effort to fix it she wrote on a piece of paper "i have to go the bathroom" and posted it on the fridge. when ever we told her we wanted to go pee she would wordlessly point to the fridge and we'd correct ourselves.

i suppose it worked. but mom didn't expect the peice of paper to affect other people entering the house. on occation we would have visitors and on occation they would come into the kitchen and on these occations they would usually reciet out loud in a sort of question what was written on the paper. mom grew to enjoy this quite a bit and would usher the new arrived guest to the bathroom.