Cool

Mom,

It is so much easier to lay in bed than it is to get out of bed. I don't think it's cause I'm lazy, at least I hope it's not cause I'm lazy. I think it's cause it takes me so long to gain consciousness in the morning and I can easily be convinced that staying in bed is the better idea.

I hear two voices chatting about the pro's and con's of plus de dormis or réveiller.

I'd be curious to find out where the dormis voice gets all his energy so early in the morning. Perhaps I'll ask him, that is if I can get a word in edgewise.

Waking up later than I planned always makes for a rushed day. I wrote a test today and I did well, at least I probably did. I had planned on reading a few more notes in the morning, but Dormis won again.

Damn you, Dormis.

In class, after the test, my patience were wearing thin on account of Blonde thinking that it was his comedy hour and his show to run.

Deep breathing. Deep breathing.

"He's just being a mid-teen, that's all" I repeat to myself over and over and over again. At one time I was just as giddy, and in all likelihood I am still just as giddy and in all likelihood I crack the same type of jokes when I am in a situation that makes me uncomfortable and I don't know how else to act.

After all he is just a kid. He's just a kid who thinks that everyone needs constant comic relief and that he's just the kid to provide it. He's a Chandler Binge.

My patience wore thinner.

"You're wasting my time and the class's time" my inner me said. Suddenly I was a vigilante, fighting for the entire class. My god I need to relax. Deep breaths encore, tout le mond deep breaths.

Don't lose your cool. as soon as you lose you're cool you've lost.

I like it when my inner voice quotes Dad while sounding like Dad.

(By the way, can you tell him happy fathers day for me?)

I didn't lose my cool. Class ended and we all went for lunch. I ate quietly and quickly and worked on some homework. Then I was late for the activity. The activity was painting.

The activity was painting. Painting.

I like painting. I like painting when I am at home. I like painting all sorts of stuff. I don't like painting at french camp if we aren't going to learn french, nor do I like getting a fois jaune for being late to a ... breath ... to an afternoon activity.

I just about lost my cool. Then I painted a mustache on the person next to me.

I found my cool again.

Then I got a hug from a camper. I needed that hug. I forget how great unexpected hugs feel and how much we need them everyday, tout le mond.

Despite Dormis, I found my cool again. I am glad to have it back. I need to be able to recognize that there isn't anything happening that I can't cope with. That is to say if I am frustrated it isn't the event that's frustrating, it's me that's frustrated with the event. I can cope with anything.

The painting turned out to be a fun activity in the end. Mine turned out really good.

Miss you lots,

--b