there are two 25 year olds at the pub. i am one, and ahmed is the other. he pronounces my name as bread and, because of this, the witty scottish guy at work has taken to calling me toast.
amhed doesn't bartend, he busses (gathers glasses, wash-up, etc). since he doesn't do any serving the patrons often grow impatient and regress to their terrible two's, therefore ensuring immediate service from one of the barstaff.
one night beamish john was in with a woman; she was beamish john drunk. she got a bit confused, as most do, and told ahmed what she wanted to drink. ahmed, understanding that explaining to her what is written above would get him no where, told me the order instead, which i double checked with her.
whoops.
she told me what she had told ahmed, and was upset that she had to remember what it was she had ordered a few moments earlier and wondered why i hadn't remember it.
"i just told you" she replied, testily. apparently she hadn't noticed that i was two inches shorter than ahmed, wore glasses and was not a black guy. unsure how to clear this mess up, i decided it would be best if she simply had another drink. john sat still, looking at me with all the wonderment of a person who is curious how a pink elephant is able to put on a black dress shirt and speak his language.
i brought them their drinks.
it was clear that i had made a big mistake because she looked at me the way someone looks at a person they have never seen before offering her a drink she didn't know wasn't a squirrel.
"what are those?" as far as i could tell she was referencing the drinks i had prepared, but it could just as easily have been the reasons for my having come to work in the first place, which i was, at that moment, attempting to determine.
then, from the other end of the bar i heard "toast, get back to work." and i smiled.
3 comments:
some lady freaked out a future shop the other day because she was attempting to return a movie. blue collar comedy tour. the disc simply didnt work. however, due to copyright laws, instead of giving her a store credit, we could only allow her to exchange the product for the exact same product. which we were out of. she lost her mind. 'i have never bought a dvd that didnt work before and i dont intend to start right now!' she fumed at customer service representative Ian Reid(on his second day at work), as Seasonal Mobile Audio Staff Dan Grant stood behind her in line with another far more reasonable customer, one that simply wanted a different colour iPod. "neither have I, Ma'am' said Ian. "i'm really sorry, but all we can do is call you when we get it in"
the woman then said, and I quote: 'well sorry isn't good enough! thanks for nothing! merry christmas!"
her tone led me to believe that she was using a linguistic device known as 'sarcasm' but I'm still not quite sure.
Ian, now having peed his pants, helped the next customer exchange her iPod, as the colour returned to his face.
Dan Grant thus returned to his section, catching Ian with a wink a mouthed "sweet fancy moses"
people are crazy.
also, check out anthems for a seventeen year old girl by broken social scene. you will dig it.
great story dan. we all have some funny story involving people being dumb.
and thanks for the music suggestion. it is one of my favourites. check out half nelson starring ryan gosling. the scene (that's right, i called them the scene; but only cause i'm cool) does the whole score.
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