On Saturday, I went to Salins-des-bains with an English teacher from the school that I work at and her husband. This town is about an hour away from Dijon and we were going to her friends place for lunch. I was looking forward to it because it was going to get me out of Dijon and i was not looking forward to it because eating a true French meal is extremely stressful. It is stressful for a number of reasons, all of which I will talk about in this post.
Stress #1 Meeting new French people in general
Whenever you meet a new French person, they always do a bisoux, which is a kiss on either cheek. You might be thinking that this cannot possibly be a very stressful situation. WRONG. First of all, as an Anglophone, bisoux are foreign to me. Also: having someone up in your grill takes some getting used to. Also: i have just come to realize that if you are female and you are giving a bisou to a male, you start on the left cheek. I learned this on Saturday. (im not sure what happens when a female gives a bisoux to a female.. i have yet to figure that one out) BUT: before Saturday, i had no idea that females were supposed to start on the left and im sure i have been doing it wrong and offended French people everywhere.
Stress #2 The apperatif
French people usually have an alcoholic drink before the meal. This is also stressful because you have to make sure you a) do not start drinking before anyone else (been there, done that, got the weird look) b) you drink JUST as fast but NOT faster than anyone else (you should keep your eye on the other females, do not go sip for sip with the males) and c) you do not finish your drink too early so that they offer you another one because normally the drinks are either 1° too strong or 2° not yummy.
Stress #3 Snacking before the meal
Along with the apperatif, French people also have little nibbly snack foods before the meal. Because i am normally famished by the time we eat (we eat dinner at 830 or 9 and by then ive already been hungry for about 3 hours..) i really have to watch myself because its rude if you snack TOO much or take TOO much food at one time.
Stress #4 The bread
During the actual meal when you are finally sitting down to eat, there is always bread available (which you have to take because all French people bread with every meal) The bread is not supposed to be put on your plate. You are supposed to put the bread on the table. This took me a good solid week to notice that during meals at my host familys house, I was the only one who put my bread on my plate.
Stress #5 The cutlery
You have to pay attention to the other guests to make sure you are using the same forks from the same spots at the same time as they are. Once you pick up the cutlery you aren’t supposed to put it on the table, you are supposed to put it on your plate.
Stress #6 The conversation
This is the most stressful because as a foreigner, you need to make sure you pay attention to everything that is said throughout the entire meal. You cannot tune anything out. When you are sitting at a table and people are speaking your first language, you can zone in and out on conversation but your mind is usually aware of what is being said and if asked a question, you can answer it easily because you were kind of but kind of not listening. This does not work the same way if you are working in a different language. You have to be 100% on your game 100% of the time. You cannot let anything go by that you do not understand because of course, as fate would have it, a French person will ask you a question about the one word that you did not understand and you will have to say uhhhhh, comment? ( uhhhh, What?) And have a blank look on your face like you weren’t paying attention. I have done this many a times and its not fun because then you look like someone who doesn’t care about what is being discussed.. So, I have gotten into the habit of never letting anything go by that I do not understand and this has worked very well because a) you no longer look like an idiot and b) you learn new vocabulary.
So, now you can see why these French dinners, while very nice, are also very stressful.
I got into the car at the end of the lunch (which took 2.5hrs) with a huge headache.
Your francophone, Mandy
3 comments:
Oh man! I'm stressed out just thinking about that! There are crazy dining rules that apply in Korea as well, which were a little tough to get used to at first.
Everyone drinks here. It's not a question, really. If you tell someone you don't drink alcohol, they look at you like you're nuts. The drink of choice here is called Soju, which is basically sweet potato vodka. They serve it to you in shot glasses. Note, they serve it to you. You're never, ever supposed to pour your own drink, and you should always be on the look-out to fill up the glass of anyone at the table as soon as they are finished. When accepting or pouring a drink, you must always hold the bottle or glass with two hands -- not doing so is hardcore disrespectful. Also, no one is meant to drink until the oldest man at the table drinks, and you're supposed to look away while he takes his first sip as a sign of respect. Same goes with eating -- oldest dude gets the first bite. I suppose he's owed, though, as the oldest man at the table picks up the bill for everyone. Unless it's your birthday -- the birthday person is supposed to buy all their friends dinner as thanks for coming to celebrate! How different from home, where you are supposed to take your friends out when it's their birthdays! You're not supposed to leave your chopsticks in the bowl when you're finished, because it resembles incense burning at a funeral and means bad luck. You're supposed to lay them across the bowl. There are loads more, but I won't bore you with them. I just find dining rules really fascinating, since we really don't have them at home. It does make dining overseas stressful at times, though lol.
holy post-much batman. i can't wait until erin starts writing on her blog.
the italians apartif as well, but i only partook in the south because it was only my host in the south who wanted to go out for drinks every night i was there.
italians also don't eat until nine or ten and i can totally understand about being hungry for most of the day. however being back in ireland means that i've had to start eating when i wasn't hungry.
odd how you body gets so used to new things.
Hey Brad, if you're interested my blog is actually http://erin-in-korea.livejournal.com, if you're bored and feel like taking a look! My blogger blog never ended up getting set up, but I post all the time at the ol' LJ!
Post a Comment